I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
