I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wish I only lived at night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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