Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
