perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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