just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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