i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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