have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
