I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
