oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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