I'm going to rape someone's good day.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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