I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
