just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
