So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
