her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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