she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
