I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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