You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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