My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
