took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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