oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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