I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
