At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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