and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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