It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
