Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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