your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
