thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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