I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Farmville is her only friend.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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