I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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