He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
