I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
