Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You're so nebulous sometimes
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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