remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
