We're facebook friends in real life
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
