I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i out mim tonsoeep
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
