in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
