Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
