If i come over, it means nothing
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
two words...techno handjob
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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