no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm always down for nudity.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
