it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize