How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
