There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
