Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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