We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
