put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
