if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
