Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
