Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
