Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
