that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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