Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
