If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
