pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
