I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My feet surprised me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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