just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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