i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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