Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
