I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
