well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
