My brain says no but my pants say off.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
