I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
