Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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